houston: craig's house

somewhat rested, i awoke and rolled off kyle's not-so-comfy couch, and was greeted by muffled snorts of jubilation from the aforementioned squatty little dog, which may or may not be a pug. i affectionately nicknamed the dog "shovel face" because, well, it pretty much looks and sounds like it was hit in the face with a shovel--his face is flat and his nasal cavity is so smushed that he snores with every breath, especially when he's awake and excited. i played with shovel face for a little while as the rest of the crew began stirring from their respective quarters.

once awake, we raided kyle's kitchen and ate all of his eggs and cinnamon rolls. kyle was in charge of the remote, so we ended up watching some movie starring l.l. cool j and the head cheerleader of the compton clovers from bring it on (when i think compton, i don't exactly think of a lucky charms marshmallow). during showers, stu's woman (who i'm convinced hates me) and one of her friends stopped by for a few minutes as they were on their way out to hike in big bend national park; both were quite impressed with kyle, despite his relentless mental abuse of poor shovel face.

after showers, mary, stu and i loaded up the ford explorer of freshness, and parted ways with kyle. destination: houston. to his credit, stu almost managed to stay awake for the whole on-ramp, but i'm certain he was asleep before we reached our cruising speed. mary, now riding shotgun, was in charge of music, and performed beautifully up until her insistance that we listen to some "texas country," which is somehow better than regular country music. to me, every song had the same chord progression, and the same basic premises:

1. it was really great growing up in texas
2. texas is the best state ever
3. beer tastes better in texas
4. girls are prettier and guys are manlier in texas
5. even if you get your heart broken, its ok, because you're in texas

the drive to houston isn't all that bad, but the drive into houston is terrible. i think we logged an extra hour and a half of driving solely inside the city limits. it doesn't help that downtown houston reeks of pollution, humidity and mediocre baseball. but then the stink of second best was soon replaced with that of exfoliation cream, and i knew we were approaching montrose. minutes later, the ford explorer of freshness rolled to a stop in front of chez craig.


mary and angie stared at me knowingly all night long ...  

craig is a senior at sewanee, and president of stu's fraternity, and his house has become the staple of good times on the previous tours--very serene and peaceful to be so close to downtown. in fact, the only thing keeping you on your toes is the multitude of large dogs roaming around, including an awesome black lab, a bastardly full size poodle, and an 8 week old great dane puppy whose cuteness is second only to his budding piranha teeth. the puppy was a replacement for blue, the full size great dane who passed away this past semester--blue was over four feet tall on all fours, and i swear i thought it was a bear the first time it came around the corner. however, being the world's largest animal had its downsides, and blue was plaugued with hip problems for being too large for his spine. he had to stay drugged up all the time, and was the greatest companion dog in the world, until he "blueced" (blue-deuced) a steaming pile all over the guest house floor fifteen minutes before bedtime. ah, memories.

after settling in and ordering some pizza, we finally got in touch with all the ladies waiting on us, and angie and jenn were the first to arrive. funniest thing, they both came all dolled up and ready for a night out on the town, while the team de tejas was lounging around in the clothes we'd been wearing for days. warm greetings and catching up stories ensued, and we mainly just loafed around craig's guesthouse.

later, jess and her friend arrived (i'm also convinced the friend doesn't like me), and joined the good times--by this point, i had found myself a nice spot on the main couch in front of the television, and recall not moving for what seemed like hours, until it was pizza time again. craig was in charge of the remote, and we were watching an american chopper marathon, which is one of my new favorite shows. i could do without all the bikes, but the interaction between the family is hilarious, and is only exacerbated with craig as narrator. i felt bad though, because i feel as if the girls expected us to roll out a red carpet with many "i haven't seen you in so long"'s--what they got was a road trodden (among other things) crew with somewhat enthusiastic hugs and greetings. i suck.

more of craig's friends showed up as the night drug on, and more than one had not been introduced to the glory that is napoleon dynamite, so everyone at the party agreed it was time to bring on the awesome. everyone except for angie, who made her displeasure widely known ("this is the stupidest movie ever made"), but her tone and inflection actually made it seem like she should be a character in the movie rather than a dissenter. either way, she was scolded for her insolance.


why am i so appealing? ... i must ponder 

twenty minutes into the movie, ben thurber was able to stop by and make an appearance, though brief. he pulled up a chair in the back of the room, watched about ten minutes of the movie, and promptly left because the party had become quite lame. soon after, the girls followed his lead, and those remaining crashed in the guest house. major disappointment of the night: hayley shelton was unable to make an appearance, most likely because we never called. this injustice was for a couple of reasons, all of them being private and out of my hands, but i was deeply saddened by her absence; i'm truly sorry, and i'm certain that one day she'll find it in her heart to forgive me. if you'd like to help you can cruise on over to hayley's blog and post a message reminding her how much she needs me.

much thanks to craig for yet another opening of his home, and for the pizza. houston, though relatively uneventful, was a great time, and it was fun just to see everyone again. houston may not be a good baseball town, but montrose is ok by me.