Sunday, April 03, 2005

leon can't cook without that dough, baby

its that time again. hot dogs, peanuts, beer, box scores. america's pasttime is back, after an insane 2004 season. the boston red sox snapped their 80+ year streak of mediocrity, reversing the curse of the bambino, and thereby eliminating any reason to be a boston red sox fan. seriously, the world series win was the worst thing that could happen to that franchise, because it erased all the allure of cheering for the cursed red sox. they're no longer underdogs. the boston red sox are now just a team that doesn't win that often.

so here are the teams you should cheer for this baseball season:

al west: oakland athletics. while other teams are born on third and think they hit a triple, the a's are a testament to any baseball fan without a trust fund. having one of the smallest payrolls in baseball doesn't stop the a's from being a force to reckon with on the field. cheers to incredible scouting and to billy beane. also acceptable: texas rangers.

al central: minnesota twins. the blandest division in baseball has one saving grace, and his name is torii hunter. the greatest home run thief in the game is reason enough to back the twins. but just for insurance, think of how much fun the twins had in "little big league". also acceptable: chicago white sox.

al east: boston red sox. yeah, the defending champs are a fun team, action packed with quality individuals, pitted against the evil empire, etc. however, they won last year, and now they're boring (see above). but so are the alternatives, and the red sox have johnny damon. they also bogarted edgar renteria (thank you, players union), and that's enough to get behind them. also acceptable: baltimore orioles.

nl west: los angeles dodgers. one of baseball's storied franchises, the dodgers proved to be class acts during last season's nlds. after being defeated by the cardinals, the dodgers, as a team, walked over to shake hands with their opponents, congratulate them on a great season, and wish them luck. kudos to sportsmanship, and long live the dodgers. plus gagne is ridiculous. also acceptable: um, the padres?

nl central: st. louis cardinals. its only right that the best team in baseball have the best fans in baseball. the cardinals also have the best defense in the game, headed up by the greatest third baseman to play the game, mr. scott rolen. and considering the alternatives, this is a no-brainer. also acceptable: pittsburg pirates.

nl east: washington nationals. in the worst division in baseball (and possibly all of sports), its hard to pick a team, so just cheer for the nationals, since they're brand new, and haven't had a chance to suck yet. although, i would've liked them better if they were the washington monuments. also acceptable: florida marlins.

teams that no one should ever cheer for (from bad to worse): san francisco giants, new york mets, houston astros, philadelphia phillies, atlanta braves, new york yankees, and the god-awful chicago cubs.

so there you have it. go cardinals.

5 Comments:

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Hayley said...

I am going to see the Cards kick the CRAP outta the Astros on Wednesday. Awesome.

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger Hayley said...

I am going to see the Cards kick the CRAP outta the Astros on Wednesday. Awesome.

 
At 8:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

NL east is the worst league in sports? I'll leave you with this fact: There has been a team from the NL east in the W.S. 9 out of the last 13 years. Not too bad in my book. When was the last time a team from the NL central made it?

 
At 8:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Other than your precious Cards?

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger Sancho said...

give me a few good reasons why you hate the Astros so bad?

 

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