worth a shot ...

[the following is an actual email sent to my discussion leader]

Ms. Tillman,

Please don't misconstrue my tone as rude, abrasive, or challenging in any way. I come humbled, merely asking if I am actually getting a zero on last week's writing assignment because I posted an hour and a half late. I just looked at the gradebook, and after the missed assignment the week before, it'd be a bit devastating to have back to back zeros, despite me earning them. I could offer excuses, but that would just be pathetic (it's my job's fault, scout's honor). What if I fingerpainted you a "World's Greatest Graduate Assistant" banner to hang above your desk? Or I could crank out some more construction paper flowers with green pipe cleaner stems, like the ones I made my valentine?

After reading the syllabus, it just seems that I could've lied and said my internet wasn't working, printed it out and handed it in on Wednesday and gotten full credit. I fully understand that you have an obligation to teach me the error of my ways, but wouldn't "honesty is virtuous" be a much greater lesson for me to learn? Don't answer right away, but really spend some time to reflect on the impact you would be making on my life, and then visualize the envious eyes of your graduate peers as they stand facing your desk and sigh, defeated, while reading in bold, fingerpainted letters that it is indeed the one and only Kacy Tillman who reigns supreme over all others.

Brian Hall